let’s give kids a childhood that they don’t have to heal from

most parents are selfish parents. they parent their children from a place of self-interest, very conditional love, ownership, and only partial investment. it is normal for us to neglect kids of their autonomy, their feelings, and their self-actualization, which does so much harm.

we lowkey hate kids, as a collective.

we especially hate kids who fall outside of what we deem to be normal or acceptable, like trans kids, kids with disabilities, gender non-conforming kids, fat kids, academically average kids, etc. these kids eventually grow up (if they are fortunate enough to make it to to their late teens and 20s) and become adults who now hate themselves with all this baggage that they ain’t ask for. they may end up having kids themselves, only to raise them to hate themselves, too. this is how this cycle persists across generations.

we don’t love them, we don’t respect them, and we don’t allow them to be free.

but, parents often don’t know how to do these things: how to love, respect, and let their kids be free. they were often children of selfish (and/or toxic) parents themselves and aren’t taught anything different. as unfortunate as it is, most of us (and our parents) don’t know unconditional love and how to identify it. what it feels like. couldn’t point it out in a lineup.


real, unconditional love is a unfamiliar construct to most of us in the united states of amerikkka. we flinch and balk and stare and vehemently disapprove at the sight of parents who raise their kids from a place of freedom, love, and respect because it is so damned strange to us.

parents who let their children express their negative feelings towards them, parents who allow their boys to wear dresses and makeup and let their girls get buzzcuts, parents who don’t spank or beat their children, parents who let their kids pursue a trade they’re passionate about instead of going to college, parents who use pronouns that the child picks, parents who don’t pressure their kids to chemically alter their children’s hair texture (or outright do it for them), parents who allow their kids to have privacy while in the same household, parents who practice emotional boundaries….

this is parenting from a place of acknowledging the kid being their own person. too often, parents feel entitled to their kids mind, body, and souls, believing that they own them. as if kids are property.

we think we love kids, but we lowkey don’t even know what love is. making a kid homeless because their gender doesn’t match what they were assigned at birth, restricting a child’s diet for non-health reasons and to solely control the image of the child’s body, yelling at and beating a child because they express their authentic feelings, forcing kids to wear clothes and hair that does not feel good to them, disowning a child because they don’t pursue a certain career path, forcing a kid to worship and practice a religion that does not connect for them, quietly resenting a child for fucking up their perfect body due to childbirth or for altering the parents’ life path…this is all the opposite of love.

kids ain’t dumb and are very intuitive and adept at understanding feelings, even if they don’t have words for those feelings just yet. they learn what ticks mom and dad off, when the parent is in a pissy mood, when it’s best to ask for money or candy or a birthday gift, when the parent has been crying in their room or fighting with their spouse.

kids know.

kids combine this knowledge they gain about their parents with the desire to be approved by them, and learn to perform perfection and perform the standards of being their parents’ children out of fear of losing whatever love it is that they do receive from them.

anything done out of fear is not a result of authentic, unconditional love. however, this is how many of us went through our childhoods and still behave with our parents to this day. we dare not risk overstepping that boundary, expressing that true emotion, letting our parents know that one little secret for fear that they will disapprove, or worse, lash out at us. we attempt to protect that inner child as much as we can, but suppressing ourselves with the purpose of protecting ourselves only hurts us. the longer you suppress, the more painful it is for the truth to come out. and it always comes out, often at the big, but most inopportune times (funerals, weddings, birthdays, celebrations with alcohol, etc.). although is is 10000x more scary, it is infinitely more brave to be authentic.

sadly, there are politics around what is brave, what is safe, and what is necessary for survival, especially when talking about kids. how sad is it that so many kids have to often choose between having relative safety, shelter, and consistent food & being their authentic selves? how abusive and controlling is it to ration out life essentials to KIDS based off of if they meet an arbitrary standard when they otherwise can’t (legally) provide for themselves?

why can’t we be decent enough to give them both?


it has been an unfortunate life lesson for me that if your own authentic self deviates enough from your parents’ vision for you, that is enough to be irredeemable to them.

I’ve come to realize (and accept, as a kid [and now an adult] that was conditionally loved) that NO amount of achievements or chased perfection will convince your parents to fully love you THE WAY YOU DESERVE if they are not personally invested in doing so. their love for you should not be based on if you’re aligned with who THEY have visualized and planned you to be. if this vision is inauthentic for you and who you are, they should love you anyways, because that’s what unconditional love is: love without conditions.

at that point, any little thing that you do “wrong” will be reason enough to dispose of you as too ‘difficult’ to love, or ‘disrespectful’ to who they “raised you to be.” not who you actually are, but who they WANT you to be.

this is selfish parenting. this is not parenting from a place of love.

i hope my generation learns to be less selfish in our parenting practices as we continue to raise our kids. we need to let them teach us as much as we teach them, for they have their own nuggets of wisdom to impart on us. age never, ever dictates maturity or wisdom, so listen to your kids, really listen, and allow yourself the humility to continue to learn.

i also hope we continue to find time to reflect on our own childhoods, heal from them, and discontinue passing down generations of trauma. those of us who didn’t come from “bad” homes (weren’t physically abused or indigent or neglected) more than likely still have trauma to heal from, too. verbal and emotional abuse is real, and a lot of us have normalized that abuse and our means of coping with it “for our own good.” we have to unlearn all of it and learn better ways to understand feelings and communication for the sake of our own children and the children that we will come into contact with for the rest of our adult lives.

all children deserve a childhood that they don’t have to heal from.

we exist; therefore, we are worthy.

it’s funny to see people that I know embrace Lena Waithe and her success that she’s gained as an openly Queer, Black woman. I’m totally here for queer Black success, and I genuinely wish continued prosperity to Lena in her career.

but when it comes to queer Black folk in people’s lives that they’ve known for a while now, all that grace and support seems to just dissolve, like honey in hot tea. as a masculine presenting queer Black person, I know this reality all too well.

It would be nice if people had more integrity in how they choose (cause it’s definitely a choice, FYI) who is worthy of support and who is not. this choice falls along many visible identity lines, including body type, skin color, perceived alignment with cisnormativity, etc etc.

choosing people to be worthy of support based on aesthetics alone is dangerous and, frankly, really fucked up. in an aesthetic-driven world, however, this is the reality that Black queer folks have to contend with for basic human respect and acknowledgement.

there’s also a convo to be had about how queer Black folks are seen as useful ONLY when we’re able to do things for others….

– things like free labor, particularly emotional labor. i DO love a good tea party myself, but coming to your queer friend every time you need to vent cause they’re totally good at listening but never really reciprocating when they’re in need of an ear is a very draining tea party that becomes less and less fun to participate in, no matter how hot and good that tea is.

– things like only engage with stereotypes of queer folks, like the queer friend being your go-to fashion person. it’s cool that you think they’re fly AF and their taste is super eclectic, but it aint cool to only use them when you need fashion advice.

– things like being a lab rat in someone’s sexual exploration process. your sexuality can and definitely should be explored, but not when it’s at the expense of someone via stringing them along with half-truths or flat out lying in order to hoard access to their body for YOUR enjoyment. this happens to all kinds of queer folks, and especially at the intersection of being Black; being fetishized for sexual exploration by a sexually curious (and often emotionally irresponsible) cishet is wrong on so many levels.

to many people, we are only seen as useful when we do things like this, and especially when those things are done for F R E E.

Black queer folks deserve so much better and so much more than what’s given to us by the world.

to tell the whole truth, we often agree to go along with being used and/or dehumanized cause the world we live in has already told us that as Black, queer, and (often) poor people that we are not worthy of baseline human respect.

dominant narratives in society show us and affirm the ideas that no matter what, fundamental aspects of ourselves are not worthy of respect, love, and recognition from anyone. not family, not friends, not teachers, co-workers, politicians, bosses, civil employees, professors, anyone.

unfortunately, we too are not immune from internalizing these beliefs. Queer Black folks receive these poisonous beliefs in the form of internalized negativity that often turns to hatred towards ourselves.

what results are toxic and damaging beliefs that taint our self-worth and self-image.

we become a mirror to the world that we exist in and, without an alternative narrative to tell us any different, become masochists in our own self-sabotage.


in a world that tells us that we are inherently useless, how do we give ourselves purpose? how do we make ourselves useful?

what often happens is that we make ourselves overly available to those around us as an attempt to dispel these ‘uselessness’ myths. we do all the things that mean that someone, anyone, will find value in us. EVERYONE learns these myths, queer or not, but everyone rarely gets the chance to unlearn them…especially us.

we may willingly give our advice, listening ears, and shoulders as a down payment in hopes that someone will give us theirs in our time of crisis.

we may willingly work long hours for not nearly enough pay in the hopes that our higher up will notice our work ethic and hopefully, one day, pay us what we’re actually worth.

we may willingly share our bodies with those who don’t deserve them just to receive touch, attention, and what can feel like affirmation and love.

we may willingly pursue degrees in institutions that never genuinely appreciate our  contributions in the hopes that, maybe, perhaps, we can finally connect with people based on academic interests and form friendships and relationships that are lifelong.

we often do these things to a fault, to our detriment, grinding ourselves down to the bone just to maybe feel affirmation, love, and respect.


predators and abusers (who might not even be aware that they are predatory and/or abusive) manipulate and abuse these vulnerabilities to the point of complete physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual exhaustion. but we dare not complain or resist, or else we get gas lit, get the ‘unconditional’ love and affirmation stripped away, or worse, blame ourselves for just not being enough and feel the need to punish ourselves so that we will be better.

this can have us bedridden with depression and/or anxiety too strong to bear, in the ER hooked up to banana bags to replenish our bodies, in our bedrooms contemplating if life is worth continuing everyday, in unhealthy relationships with human leeches, and so on and so forth.

it’s horrible. it’s hell. it’s depressing. it’s fucked.


as someone who has experienced most of these outcomes throughout my lifetime and is now on a journey to reclaim myself fully, along with breaking apart these fucked up cycles, I pray that the world can become better for Queer Black folks, starting with ourselves.

self-love, positive self-worth, self-affirmation, a commitment to ourselves and our health is so necessary for pure survival in this world, and I know for a fact that most of our people don’t get nearly enough of those things to keep us around long enough to see that an enjoyable life can be a reality.

so many Black queerbies that I know go thru all this, and sadly we are often the ONLY support we have. the ONLY support.

blood family, friendships formed over decades, mentors, siblings, everyone turns their backs on us if it is more convenient and socially/emotionally safe for them to do so.

we are left behind by the dozens, seen as wholly disposable and not unconditionally worthy of help, and are lucky if we get an ounce of empathy from someone large enough to buy ourselves a cup of coffee.

I pray that all the people that have abandoned a Black queerbie that they claimed to love at any point in time viscerally feels that person’s pain & carries it with them all of their days.

I also pray that Black queer folks are able to find authentic, unconditional love & support, are able to heal from all of their scars, & can stand in their beauty and inherent worth and learn to love themselves first. it is necessary for survival.

the road to self-love is hard and full of obstacles and plain old traps formed to trick us to fall back into old ways, but the road is more than worth it.

coming into our full power, full beauty, full creativity, full humanity is so. worth. it.

the inherent worth comes from our pure existence and nothing more.

we exist; therefore, we are worthy.

keys to healing 🗝





healing is making tea

healing is making love

healing is making music

healing is writing

healing is art

healing is singing aloud

healing is cuddling with a book

healing is a fresh beat face

healing is a pedicure

healing is a boo-rito 💜

healing is a blunt.

healing is talking to the ancestors

healing is spiritual baths

healing is purging whats unneeded

healing is tears

healing is listening to your body

healing is reading white people

healing is dropping out

healing is moving out

healing is moving in

healing is moving your body

healing is loving your body

healing is prioritizing your health (and wealth)

healing is buying candles from the botanica

healing is cackling at memes throughout the day

healing is prayer

healing is choosing your life over their feelings

healing is choosing yourself first

healing is holding yourself accountable


healing is choosing to grow every day,

in every way.


fighting oppression and creating a better world is rooted in uplifting, empowering, and providing for the marginalized while dismantling the systems that make them ‘marginalized’ in the first place.
indeed, this fighting and creating can take many forms.
however, tryna explain oppression to white folks (or any privileged folks for that matter) or educate them without
1) getting paid for the labor (cause it *is* labor) or
2) negotiating real, tangible, and worthwhile resources for marginalized groups as a result of this educating/explaining
is NOT fighting white supremacy and other oppression. in my opinion, its a waste of breath, energy, and talent unless its being done of your own volition cause u aint got shit better to do and u got time to gather edges on that day. or because you’re actually friends with privileged recipient of said knowledge and you value spending time this way with them. or because you have to since it’s a class assignment 🙄 anywho
the same logic goes for any hegemonic group of people. pandering and overextending yourself to men, cis folks, straight people, etc. are all fallacies and wastes of breath. there has been almost 6 ‘mainstream’ years of modern protest; primarily and mainly against police brutality (i.e. demonstrations following the murder of Trayvon Martin. rest in power) and often including other forms of fighting oppression, and it has clearly existed long before then. (i will also note the demographic shift of represented protestors across this time span, there are reasons why it’s now being so mainstream to ‘resist’ and be ‘stronger together’)
its 2017, there is literally no excuse to be ignorant other than choosing to be so. social media has catalyzed the globalization of our world, so to remain not knowing of things is a firm choice in this day and age. im sure we are convinced that we have good reasons to do so, and it is still a choice.
we (Black, poor, women, trans, ‘uneducated’, femmes, etc.) are literally out here putting our lives on the LINE by just existing as we are, let alone those of us risking our lives to achieve liberation. there are less noble causes that people aspire to everyday.
thank you to all those who understand the gravity and nuance that organizers, liberators, educators, and freedom fighters are graciously holding as we continue the good fight, often without due compensation. no one wants to die broke, and yet here we are.
all the revolutionaries in me are tired.

get aligned, or get out the way.

my ancestors have been guiding my steps for a few months now, and it has become painfully clear that i must align myself with what resonates the most with my inner self and my purpose. it has been so painful to get plucked out of my state of academic-ridden normalcy and get set down where i’ve needed to be for a while now: aligned more directly with the work of Black liberation, in relationship with my artistry, and away from institutions and people that uphold white supremacy. unless it is to the end of redistributing resources, there is no time to straddle the fence, to uphold niceties, to be unclear about stances.

it is war, it has always been war, it will always be war until it is over. so, i had to ask myself what im willing to do to end it. being in the ivory tower, for now, aint it.

the message has been made clear to me, and also to others: it’s time to either get aligned or get out the damn way.

and please believe, my ancestors will not have mercy for those who fashion themselves into obstacles for me to overcome. the stakes are too high to play nice anymore.

choose wisely. what side of history will u be on?

All of us or none of us: why I won’t be paying my dues for ABPsi’s hotep madness any longer

last week, i was in my hometown of Houston, TX for the 49th annual ABPsi convention. ABPsi is the Association of Black Psychologists, an organization that was founded in 1968 with intentions of operating under an African-centered approach to psychology, not a Eurocentric approach. this perspective reframes the Black experience from being seen as an experience rife with pathology to a historically-informed, strengths-based view. this organization had been instrumental in my own development as a Black psychologist who is rooted in continuously unlearning anti-oppressive ways in regards to psychological services given to, teaching about, and research concerning Black populations.

witnessing people dressed in traditional attire with natural hair giving presentations about Black people for Black people was an important defining moment for me in my education when i attended my first ABPsi convention. i’ve grown over the past 5 years while being a member this organization, graduating from my undergraduate institution with dual degrees in psychology and African & African diaspora studies. ABPsi inspired me to begin my graduate career, to begin the process of becoming a fellow Black psychologist, and to eventually take up leadership roles within the org. i began to recognize my motivation for attending ABPsi was to reconnect with peers and mentors in order to rejuvenate and refresh myself with a community of people that seemed to have the same overall goal: psychological liberation of people of African descent.

in these past 5 years, i have also made space to become more familiar with other facets of my identity. i moved across the country to Akron, Ohio; a small town where i started to learn the delicate dance of figuring out how to move in academic spaces as my most authentic self. it has been in my counseling psychology program that i’ve been forced to recognize other identities within myself that are also marginalized and oppressed, though in fundamentally different ways. it has been in these past 2 years that i grew into understanding my gender identity, gender presentation, and attractions (because just saying ‘sexual orientation’ isn’t nuanced enough) more solidly. overall, i realized that i don’t identify as a cishet person, and that this means something.

these revelations were not only liberatory for me, they were scary as hell. my coming out process was (and continues to be) one that invokes high levels of anxiety that i never experienced before, in addition to waves of depression (that i’ve been struggling with since adolescence) becoming worse. in this time of rediscovery, i can identify that i need support and affirmation in these new identities as i unlearn harmful schema regarding my other marginalized identities. i expected this support and affirmation would also come from this community that has meant so much to me.

5 years have passed since i first joined, and the way i felt walking into this year’s conference was in great conflict with my first year’s experience. having had the bright enthusiasm of pursuing this degree thoroughly snatched from my sight by the first semester of my program, i looked to ABPsi to once again be my solace, like it had been for these past 5 years. i expected the same amount of consideration to be given to my other identities given that i am a member of the African diaspora, and by definition am included in modalities, conceptualizations, and considerations from an Afrocentric worldview. most of all, my expectation was that my queerness would not be conceptualized as pathology, as we know APA has done before. me having this expectation allowed me to see the organization’s treatment of the queer and trans community throughout its history, which has been in no way inclusive, affirming, or non-stigmatizing. unfortunately, ABPsi is choosing to repeat and engage with these oppressive ideals about these communities and not learn from the harm that they too cause, despite their best intentions for African people.

i was not granted the same feelings of belongingness at this year’s convention; this being my first convention while out, i was interested to see where the organization would be on being queer-affirmative, given that a speaker at last year’s convention was umar johnson. i didn’t want to confirm the assumption that the positive affirmation of queer and trans folk would be negligible, but unfortunately, that’s what my experience was.

this year was also a year in which the leadership ‘attempted’ to give LGBTQ people and concerns a spotlight. this was partially done by having a LGBTQ healing circle at same time as the men’s and women’s healing circle. it’s worth noting that this is not only divisive (ex: what if someone identifies as both a man and as gay?), but it is inherently transphobic. the ‘us vs. them’ separation that tends to exist in discourse regarding if queer Black folks exist touts the notion that trans folks are ‘others’ and aren’t ‘real’ men and women, let alone real Black men and women. it also reinforces the false dichotomy of the gender binary.

the last night (friday) that i was in attendance, i attended the Mbongi session where community issues were brought to the table so they could be discussed and solutions could begin to be created. i was informed upon attending this session that the conversation surrounding the inclusion of LGBTQ+ folks within the org was approximately “27 years old,” according to one member’s experience. an elder shared with me that this has been a conversation that has existed since before then, dating back to when the organization was first founded in the late 60s.

i sat there, wondering how hard it must be to exist for almost 50 years as an organization that had yet to acknowledge or respect this important, valuable part of the community that we were trying to continue to build and edify. i personally don’t think it’s been that hard, given that cisnormativity and heteronormativity are aspects of the overall white supremacist, patriarchal status quo that we exist within.

i came out to the small group that i was in while trying to appeal to their affirmation of queer folks in their views of Afrocentricity; i was then told by two different members that 1) everyone’s understanding of an Afrocentric worldview is different (which sounds like a cop-out, to be honest) and 2) that she doesn’t have to agree with the existence of queer Black folk, nor recognize Black queer folks’s existence within the concept of an Afrocentric worldview (even though i was literally existing in front of her as a queer Black person). the best that other allies and/or out folks could do in that small group was commend us for having such ‘hard conversations’ and it being a safe space for everyone to be able to have their views expressed without scrutiny or, as that one person put it, without being ‘attacked for her opinions.’ this is a prime example of harmful and violent ideals being normalized under the guise of free speech. we often fail to understand how beliefs and thoughts do not exist in vacuums and how they have real implications.

both of these comments came from members of “generation x” – they were in their late 40s to early-mid 50s and they were both cis Black women. this experience reminded me of my experience with my previous mental health care provider (also a member of this org), who showed incompetency in being able to meet my needs as i was seeking therapy for a number of reasons. one of these reasons had been my engagement in a new, queer relationship with a woman that also happened to be my first serious relationship. instead of engaging with my presenting concerns using her expertise in doing therapy, she advised (in so many words) that i compartmentalize these issues surrounding my then-partner and focus on the issues that were keeping me from performing as well as i could in school. i felt completely unheard and that my queer identity was disregarded in this moment. had she actually been more attentive to my needs, she would have clearly seen the stress that my newly-budding relationship was having on me regarding the transitions into non-heteronormativity that i was going into. later on, i realized that i was also disappointed that i had received treatment that i expected from less capable and competent clinicians who weren’t skilled in treating populations that may be different from their own, especially given that she was also a member of ABPsi. nevertheless, i had to stop seeing her for therapy, as that one session made me feel unsafe to speak to her about any issues regarding my queerness, which is inherently tied to my overall life experience.

in addition to everything else, one of the most hurtful offenses was me accidentally finding out about an outing involving other students in my program, my own advisor, and members of a local mental health care agency that many local members of ABPsi are connected to. i couldn’t help but to note that i was the only out queer person in this situation; the group was going out for lunch, and from my viewpoint, almost everyone who would have been connected in our local NE ohio ABPsi chapter was going to share a meal except for me. in my 5 years in ABPsi, it is very normal and customary to share meals with mentors and advisors, as we are all supposed to be ‘like family’ with one another. i was hurt at this indirect communication; it felt like i was only worth an afterthought by way of text after the initial planning was done.

lastly, my partner, who came to meet me at the hotel for a date in my city, was approached and body shamed by an elder of the organization. i took issue with the elder preaching respectability and shame at my partner. this elder made sure to remind my partner that “this is a professional environment” and that the next time she decide to share this space, that she “bring something to cover her [body] next time.” we (politely) informed the elder that my partner simply had come inside to pick me up, as we were on our way out that night. my partner was simply in the room and in the conference to act as support for me. the body shaming (my partner does identify as a fat Black femme) and overall unnecessary & overwhelming commentary was a nail into the coffin that made the misalignment of ABPsi painfully clear. this adherence to respectability (whether through force or through choice) is also harmful; in reality, we as Black folks are expected to perform the white standard of what’s seen as ‘acceptable’ and what’s not, which means adhering to white body size norms, white clothing choice norms, with “room” to wear daishikis and/or traditional wear. had the elder inquired more about my partner’s work, she would know that the focus on her brilliance rather than her clothes (shorts, a crop top, and sandals) in conference spaces should overshadow and has been more important any concern about her appearance.

it have been instances like these that have made me realize that queer and trans people within this organization have not been a priority and may only become one due to wider discourse and representation that is initiated by Black queer people themselves, not the institutions that they are a part of. unfortunately, my threshold for holding microaggressions, homophobia, transphobia, body shaming, respectability, and disingenuous regard for LGBTQ+ individuals within ABPsi has been breached and i do not plan on continuing to be a member of the organization. i love and respect myself too much to settle for a group that is not willing to see all Africans in the diaspora as African, regardless of their other identities. in my view, that goes against what our whole organization stands for and disrespects the multitudes of ancestors that created us, as queer and trans African people existed before the Maafa and before the colonization of indigenous and Black populations. a denial of such is historically inaccurate and is teeming with whitewashed narratives of our history. we owe it to our Black Queer and Trans children, teenagers, and adults to do better. we need to not only envision our existence in Black liberation, but to engage in concrete actions that make these visions our reality.

the idea(s) behind “queerscendence”

the two words ‘queer’ and ‘transcendence’ were very prominent (and still are prominent) when i reflect on my continuous exploration of my gender identity, gender presentation, attractions toward other people, and the compounded effects of these aspects on other areas of my life, such as my race or my research. this quote by Brandon Wint sums up a lot of my feelings about queerness:

“Not queer like gay. Queer like, escaping definition. Queer like some sort of fluidity and limitlessness at once. Queer like a freedom too strange to be conquered. Queer like the fearlessness to imagine what love can look like…and pursue it.”

the idea of transcendence feels similar to being queer. transcending past the boxes and binaries that our culture deems satisfactory for everyone, despite everyone being infinitely different and therefore fundamentally unable to neatly, tidily fit into binaries or boxes. transcending past respectable, normative gender performance/gender identity expectations. transcending past this normalized, repressed definition of humanity into something more real, more authentic, more true, as true as possible in the moment. transcending past the limits imposed in physical worlds and going into the ‘limitlessness’ of spiritual worlds; both working in tandem with one another, all at once, creating a whole that is greater than the sum of its parts.

also, transcending (rising past) the world’s bullshit that gets thrown at oppressed people everyday and STILL bein a bad bitch in spite of it all. all the hate, all the stares, all the violence (physical or otherwise), all the snubs, all the disrespect. transcending that while being queer AF, Black AF and unapologetic AF about allat.

it is the courage to simply exist and challenge norms by doing so. it is not asking for space, but rather, already claiming it as your own.

academia aint shit. and yet here i am.

i originally started this post to dismiss and belittle the institution of academia and explore my feels about being a student in a system that has never made space for someone like me and, from its inception, was never designed to be able to hold someone like me. never designed to hold my truth, my values, my life experiences, although counseling psychology is supposed to operate from a ‘social justice’ standpoint.

if we adhered to our values as a field like we should, we would be a lot more radical.

but thats not the current reality. so, in summation, i think i’ll just say:

academia doesn’t deserve my brilliance or the brilliance of scholars who pour themselves into their work and are belittled, lambasted, and oppressed every step of the way with little to no support from those who are supposed to be leading us through.